In relationships I have a general rule. If something happens that necessitates the phrase “But it only happened once!” I’m out.
There is no positive or slight offense that I can think of that has ever necessitated that phrase. Typically one hears this after a case of infidelity, being hit, or some other major wrong-doing. Everyone is different and I’m sure that many happy relationships have continued on after these types of events, but for myself, I can’t even allow myself to consider it okay or forgivable. My theory stands that if you never give yourself the opportunity to question your position on treatment like this, when it happens you’ll be more likely to stick to your guns. That being said I’ve never been hit by a man, and to my knowledge I’ve never been cheated on either. In truth I cannot imagine the roller coaster of emotions that being treated as such leaves with you. I believe this is two parts luck and one part having the presence-of-mind not to put myself into dating relationships with people that might be capable of this type of behavior. But people can be tricky and deceiving; the wolf in sheep’s clothing is not always obvious, in fact they’re frequently most misleading. No matter what the circumstances it is never okay, for males or females, to endure any measure of physical abuse. I don’t care if he just caught you in bed with his father or she caught you in bed with her mother. In relationships especially we all need to be adult about it instead of hauling off hitting someone like a kid on a playground when you’re unhappy or hurt. Trust me, I would imagine my first response to catching my husband cheating as being a very physical one, but I endeavor to remind myself that it’s unwise to counter an emotional response with a physical answer.